parole per te, verità per me

june 28,2009 (12:05am)

planet eart to abigail! hello?!

wake up gail! (*isn’t it ironic? it’s early morning.haha.*)
wake up! open your eyes!

wake up gail ‘kundi bubuhusan kita ng mainit na tubig’! (*that’s my brain speaking..*)
you don’t deserve him.i’ll give you a lot of reasons not to think about him:
1. He’s no match for you. He is so waaay out of your league.
2. He doesn’t even ‘look good’. (*gawd* anung nakain mo?*)
3. He is so uber snob. (*kala mo qng sino*)
4. He walks away when you’re around. (*awch!*)
5. He doesn’t know you exist! (*korak!*)
6. He acts as if you’re invisible. (*anu un? ym lang?*)
7. He is uber suplado to you.
8. He is soo insensitive. way too insensitive.
9. He is uber feelingero too. (*ugh*)
10. You don’t even know him personally!

like duh! kahit pa umabot ng ilang milyong reasons ang maibigay mo, wala ka ng magagawa.
mahirap na xa’ng tanggalin!  (*it’s me. unfortunately.*)

waah! baliw na tlaga aq. need sleep. ciao. -.-

june 21, 2009

‘you can’t please everybody.’

at least that’s what i tell myself-everytime i did something stupid.
of course, it’s already too late before i realized what i DID  or said was stupid.
i’m just being me ayt? wish i was somebody else. why can’t i be somebody else?

i just wanna fade away. be invisible. *ugh* something just happened.
i fell so ‘down’. i think nasira q pa ang mood ng bday celeb ni ate judith.
it’s my bad anyway. cuz ‘gingging’ always act foolishly, childishly and way too stupid.

*gawd* i’m always thinking of what others would think of me.
being in a different world together with different people with different personalities is just too
much to handle.

aside from missing and comparing my new peers with my old ones, the intense paranoia is also
due to fact that there is an endless firing of my neurons. i always think- makes me crazy.
stupid and crazy.

i just want to forget anything stupid that has ever happened that my messes up my half-messed life.
sometimes, memory is just not a privilege.

june 24. 2009

*gosh* time really flies by fast. it’s already wednesday
and i had not posted anything for the past two days. haha. blogging got me hooked.

enweisz, i was really downcast last monday. i wasn’t in the mood for anything. faei and i had
sundaes-pampawala depress. ‘la epek. i dunno why.

last tuesday sure was a ‘hell day’. i was uber antok the whole day! guess, all the time i was sleeping.
i had microsleeps all throughout the duration of my classes. except, walking to switch classes.
speaking of switching classes. gracie had a good laugh when she saw the monster-from-under-my-bed.
sama eh. haha.

what else?? i accompanied gracie this morning sa rob for her usual shopping spree
whenever she sees something she wants. then went back again to accompany kuia popz.
gala mode aq weh. haha. when we were pauwi na, kasabai namin c ‘chug2′. but we
weren’t aware that nasa likod namin xa. and i was like paranoid again? haha.

june 25, 2009 9:43 pm

wheew! what a relief. i survived another TTh sched! wahahaha..xD
sure was a ‘hellday’ again for the same old reasons:

1. boring discussions,shocking questions
2. chem lab *haggardness. finished an entire exercise!*
3. hectic sched.. and
4. the possibility of seeing that someone

thank God it’s friday tom! tutulog naq ng bonggang bongga

june 19,2009 (10:30 pm)

found time to blog. haha. good thing Rizal was born in Laguna, we’re having a holiday!
just slept throughout the day. haha. i wasn’t  feeling well kanina. i was scared ‘cuz being sick
would mean low resistance and higher risk for having h1n1.

enweisz, yesterday sure was a ‘hellday’ for moii.
i just hate tuesdays & thursdays! *arrgh* except for the fact that i have full sched
on that day, there’s a probability of seeing the ‘monster-from-under-my-bed’.
talk about paranoia. haha.

i confess: i saw HIM (*actually*). i realized, he’s JUST a guy- not even a ’special’ guy
for that one. he was just a ‘bump on the road’. he did’nt really matter, what happened
was just a big mistake.

well, chemistry15 lab class makes it a real tough day. i officially declare that i hate chem!
good thing we didn’t have a class on chemistry lecture. pc had a short circuit. i was able to
make it on time for the freshie concert.

got home at past ten and i fell asleep as soon as i hit my bed. woke up at 12 kanina.
did nothing actually, just slept
nothing special for this day though. ciao.

june 16, 2009

no other extension-yep, first day of school. though i’m soo antok and
soo not into the first-day-high mood.. i still made through the day. good thing there’s LAYF
at the end of my Tuesday-pampawala ng pagod.

well, here are my shouts for the day: (naisulat q sa notebook q)

math26 period (somewhere between 8-9am)

–’howmhygosh! sub prof na naman namin gling 14?! ainku!’
–’lecture kagad?! what the? it’s first day, ayt?
*well, xa naman prof.. gusto nyah maglecture ih.*

pe2 (somewhere between 10-11 am)

–’ampf aman, akuh leader sa group namen!! huhu T.T
*note: napagkamalan na namang grade 1. kuleet ng prof kuh ih!*

tambay mode (somewhere between 10:45-11:30 am)

–’amborring!!’
*note: missing faei && yche.*

mgt 101 (somewhere between 11:30-12:00

–’wheew! high expectations for management. ajja’

[insert story: as i was walking through the grounds of my beloved university,
lo and behold! there was the ‘monster-from-under-my bed’.
uh-oh! nice one. talk about timing.

chem15 lab (somewhere between 1-3pm)

–’drill kagad?! and no calculator at that. uh-oh.’
–’shucks. nanalo pa rin ang katangahan. ‘lang ulit q pa man din nreveiew un’

mgt 111 (somewhere between 4-4:30)

–no prof. cool.

tambay mode (somewhere between 4:30-5:30)

–amborring!! i hate long tambay sessions && you can’t go home.

chem15 lec (somewhere between 5:30-7pm)

–’abuh c sir! sinulit ang tym eh.’

already got home at past 9. *wheew* soo tired.

‘wheeeee! found the word! haha. i just realized the word AJJA looks really great.
haha. *you && me*’

gotta sleep/ nytie-nyts.

june 15, 2009 (1:28 pm)

*yawn* sleepyhead still. ate rhei just arrived. that makes elim complete.
currently on a texting && bookworm mode. teehee registered for unlimited texting after 2 weeks.
that’s an accomplishment for some text addict like me who wants a ‘rehab’. haha..
i’m not used to texting anymore after my phone had a ‘coma’. haha.

anyweisz. i’m currently reading ‘The Breakup Diaries’ by Maya Calica. It’s ate rhei’s.
got it way back home. It’s a novel about ‘breaking up, making out, shaping up and every little
gritty, sanity-breaking detail in between’. axteeg dba? haha.

The Anatomy of a Breakup:
1. denial, followed by desperate bid to get back together
involving promises to do everything to make him happy.
2. severe loss of sleep, appetite and self-esteem
3. acute paralysis- or maybe death- of good judgement
4. compulsive tendencies to document every event, feeling && fantasy in manner of
reporter trying to make sense of things
5. more compulsive tendencies to over-examine relationship carcass and over-analyze
cause of death as a couple
6. getting a life.

axteeg talaga ‘toh eh. haha. cool. for sure based on experience to ng author. only
a person who experienced love and had a break up could understand how painful it is.

another cool thingy in the book: How’s Your Break Up Quotient?
good thing my answers are mostly A’s. which results to Broken but not Beaten:

”you’ve checked in at Heartbreak Hotel, with no intention of leaving your room
until you’ve squeezed every angsty tear from your eyes. You wear your heart on your
sleeve and give your painful emotions room to run free. While it may be hard to
find something good in your situation, give yourself a pat on the back for crying away
your stress. You’ll live a longer and healthier life -and will recover sooner!”

gee. i’m speechless. wahahahaha. im not a major loo-hoo-ser after all.
found something ‘cooler’:

‘Do you realize the word ‘men’is at the start of words like ‘menace’ && ‘mental’?
And when spelled backwards they form half of ‘enemy’ && ‘nemesis’? No wonder
they cause so much pain.’

wahahaha. odb? tsktsk. guys. i’m not sounding like imma man-hater, am i? haha.
enweisz, remembered something again from my fave book (By The River Piedra):

‘But how to explain suffering because of a man? It’s not explainable.
With that kind of suffering, a person feels as if they’re in hell
because there is no nobility, no greatness- only misery.’

the bitterness of it all. classes start tomorrow. *can’t we have another extension, puh-lease’*
xiao.

june 14, 2009 (6:14 pm)

wheew! tough day. had ‘kidney’ attacks. xna ndi xa chumever.. classes are starting on tuesday!

♥♥♥[MY.PLANS.FOR.THIS.SCHOOL.YEAR]♥♥♥

o.this school year is going to be all about:
–> enjoying life to the fullest! it’s being happy *always*. it’s being able to laugh even at the stupidest things,
being able to find The funniest things out of nothing. It’s having the best time with people around you,
and making the best memories.no worries.

o.the subject i’m going to do better at this year is:
–> all my subjects!! haha. i’ve got Animal Science 2 (i wonder anu kakatayin namin? *scared*)
Management 101 && 111, principles of management && accounting respectively. (gotta do my best at this two. kundi
i’m so dead sa ermatsz ko.) math26, that’s calculus. Got Chemistry15 too! *uber scared*  && PE.
gotta strive for a grade of 1.0! haha.whoo! super acad mode for this school year! :]]

o.i want to start: whoo! tough one.
–> anu ba? maybe, start changing myself for the better. haha. but i’m happee wit myself.
i’m not perfect && i’m cool with it, but gotta have discipline. :]]

o.i’m saving up to buy:

–> yeyy! shopping. haha. gee.. i have so many things in mind: cute tees (found this cute blouse-
jacket-like style. want it for the ‘cold season’ here. haha.) footwear- flats, a new converse!
woot, this post is going to be uber long if i type all the things i want. haha. :]]

o.i’m going to do my bit to help the environment by:
–> not trashin’ anywhere! it’s the least i CAN do.. teehee. :]]

o.i’m looking forward to: the fun times! Sem break and Christmas break! haha.

o.i’ll be having most fun when: i’m with my friends. :]]

o.i’m going to learn how to: uh-oh. gee. got nothing in mind at this moment.

o.the thing i want to achieve most this year is: be a University Scholar! whoo!

o.i’m going to be nicer to: everyone *except the ‘monster-under-my-bed-* -winks-

o.my goals this school year are:
1. high grades - dpat uno!
2. fatten myself up- haha. chow down! :]]
* la naqng maisip*
3. be healthy- bawal magkasakit!

june 13, 2009 6:16 pm

currently listening to: Taylor Swift - I’d Lie

‘if you’d ask me if i love him.. i’d lie.’

him.standing by the door. with the sun’s radiance behind. a perfect combination.
’twas like ‘orchestrating’ to accomodate the moment.

me? sitting there. staring *again*. looking dumbfounded. soo stupid! ack!

‘you look. he looks. he walks away
you wondering if your look had the same
affect on him that his did on you…’
–xanga stuffs

really wondering what’s gotten in to me. having liked someone so insensitive as him.
he’s not even good-looking *gawd*. thought i was over him, but maybe that was for the summer season.

well, there’s a lot of things going on my mind now. and no love quotes, song lyrics nor
friendster shoutouts and facebook statuses could illustrate just that. it’s my feelings for ‘him’
and as of now, it’s all over the place. sheesh. what am i talking about? *ugh*

*gawd* feelings -go away.

nytie: another movie date. watched Monster House && Open Season. cartoon craze. teehee

june 12, 2009 12:43 am

whee! just had another movie date with my housemates. just finished watching ‘Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason’

Mr. Darcy: The problematic thing here is, I love YOu.

it’s just so sweet though she’s not the perfect girl. she’s soo much ‘eng-eng’
like me. had a good laugh. grabe- dhil sa ka-eng-engan nyah. lucky for her.she found a man who truly loves her.

khit she’s not that beautiful, she’s not sexy && she’s soo uber.. just not the type of girl a man would get marry. tsktsk. when true love strikes nga naman.*sigh*

&& ‘Notting Hill’:

Anna Scott: I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.

one in a million chance. well, it’s good to know love still works for other people in a fairytale-like or dream-come-true situations.

too bad. mine only exists in daydreams. and the happy ending is just so far from reality.
nax! haha.

nakakita ng pantapat- text message:

‘don’t blame someone who’s been sweet to you, then turned out you fall for her.she who has no intention to catch you. remember: no matter how sweet she is, there is YOU who let things happen. you choose. you decide.. && you EXPECT.’ -axteeg. haha. LOL.

’til here. same posts on my blogger account.

june 11, 2009

currently listening to: Allona: Someone’s Always Saying Goodbye

’someone’s always saying goodbye, i believe it hurts when we cry..
i believe some hearts won’t survive, trying hard to pretend that we’re gonna be fine..’

met with faei again.she gave me a ‘trinket’ for ‘being mabaet’. teehee it’s for always being there for her.
her subject’s a li’l messed up, that’s why.

with faei, it’s chikaness galore! then a topic popped up. asked me ’bout my ‘past’. *uh-oh*
i thought i could narrate everything without being so sad. affected pa pala aq. *ugh* sadness.

‘first love never dies,, but true love can bury it alive..’

realization #1: affected paq..*mejjo.pag naaalala q*
realization #2: it’s been so long..
realization #3: so much for blaming him to be the ‘wrong’ one.. i was not just
good enough for him.. just not good enough..
realization #4: the pain has turned to fear..

after i got home. i took my ‘happy pill’: Super Junior!! watched their videos for the nth time.
haha. parang enervon- more SuJu, mas happy! then, the other escape :tulog!! *oyeah*
then i watched the videos again. adiik noh?

*sigh* i really lubb those guys. speaking of SuJu. natutuwa talaga aq.
i found someone here in eLBi that knows SuJu and their songs- kuia Jei!
teehee.. bihira lang ang mga taong nakakaalam sa SuJU at nagugustuhan sila. lalo na sa guys. odb?

SuJu rox!

june 10,2009 5:33(pm)

currently listening to: Miley Cyrus: Don’t Walk Away

  ’don’t walk away when i’m talking to you..’

sapul eh. grabe. i remembered what ‘chug2′ did to me last summer. i was kind of explaining to him && then,
he simply walked away when i was just at mid-sentence.disappeared. like a worst nightmare. grabe.
saw him (chug2) yesterday. had a haircut, pansin q. he looks neat. but then, i’m so over him na.
i got tired wasting my attention to someone who DOESN’T even CARE. haha. :]]

enweisz. woke up at around 4:35 am kanina. woke up from a frightening dream.
it was all about the end of the world. maybe i’m just paranoid. always thinking about the 2012 prophecy.
all those scientific back-up proofs make me crazy. ampf. anlapeet na ng 2012! my gosh! haha.

really freaked out. but then natulog uyeet aq. *trademark:antuken*

got the chance to go out this day. embraced the sunshine. gee. haha. ’twas more like oven-hot.
met with faei. ndi mawawala ang chikaness. haha. LOL.

talked about me-  getting asar at ‘father scaree’ and the ‘monster-under-my-bed’.
i realized that i really did’nt do anything wrong.
some guys are just plain ‘mahangin’, *ugh*.

  ’spexal ka sa kanya, un nga lang hindi xa spexal xau. kawawa naman xa.’
                                                                         -friend faei

i really don’t want to show people my mean side. i’m really controlling myself here. ‘pag un nilabas ko..
people would really be scared with me. i dunno, maybe nasaksak q na xa nung tinidor. ampf.
just remembered, the first two times i got angry. i nearly killed two of my classmates.

*gawd* self control. need it badly. i dunno. maybe one day, i’ll just burst out. and then aawayin q xa ng bonggang bongga.

mean girl.
to cool down, i downloaded music videos of SuJu kanina sa Webjam. happee-happee :]]
i also surfed through xanga for cool pics and quotes.

here’s one of my faves:

  girl: in case you didn’t realized, m heart has been shattered to a million pieces.
                boy:  in case you did’nt realized, i want to glue all the pieces back together.
                      even if it takes forever.

*aww* just so sweet. like Taylor Swift’s music video for ‘You Belong With Me’. hope i could find a guy like that
nowadays. *gawd* how long will i be waiting? *impatient.impatient*

dumaan na naman xa sa isip ko. it’s that ‘him’ again.alala ko tuloi- awch. xguro nga may chepar na xa.

 ’i wasn’t mad because he didn’t like me. i was jealous becasue he liked her.’

*sigh* auqo na. ’til here nalang.