parole per te, verità per me

date today: extraordinary. (08/03/09)

currently listening to: Mariah Carey-Emancipation of Mimi

‘..our love goes round and round on a joy ride’

*thank you sa nag-download nito: c FRIEND. haha. alam qong
mababasa nya to. mamats. :]]

(Friend oh, spexal mention ka.hahaxD)

“Today the stars fell down from the sky and burned the city while the people cried. The shining sun faded to a dusty gray and all the lovers passion went away.  The mighty ocean was tamed by a cup and
the girl who loved you endlessly finally gave up.”

axteeg ba ang intro? haha. nbasa qo lang. d aqo mag-eemo ngaun. masaya aqo weh.
haha. xD

(*msaya ka ba talaga?*)

oo. wag kna kumontra.

(*oo na, nginitian ka lang eh:]]*)

i’m melting, i’m melting.. i’m evaporating.. haha.xD

(*nuod tau ng elbi pie ha?*)

oo ba.

[inside story:

(start)

jugtoi-jugtoi aiep. garaa jjud naqo oist. bidaaah! haha. xD
gee. hajja man qo gamuhad nga ing-ato mahitabo.
hajja qo gamuhad 'dho na makauban ka.

lip** xad qo dah. haha. (*muh lang* uiee..)
wa qo kaxabot actually nganu ing-ani qo run..
ganahan lang jjud tali qo nimo (?) papart-papart lan.. anha ra kutob.

hajja man gud q nasaup sa aqoa pagtan-aw nimo. mao guro
dili ka mabiya-biyaan sa ga-tag-iya nimu sa una. woot.

(end)]

-aa naman. tinatamad talaga aqong gumawa ng anything na acad related.
walang ibang laman utak qo kundi..xa. haha. korniieeh!
‘hinding-hindi mo malalaman ever. haha. xD
kxe naman, magaling din ata aqo. pnu naman kxe..
panggulo lang aqo.. haha.xD tska natatakot dn aqo..’

-worried: nu kea nangyayare dun? bka kako napagalitan. aww T.T

august 1,2009 4:32pm

one week had passed, not even a single blog post.

la naman maxadong nangyare sken na ’significant’ pwera nalang ‘unforgettable’.
haha. lakas talaga ng trip ng PE prof qo.

mechanics of the game:

1. manghuhuli ng palaka sa center spot

2. ipapasok sa tshirt mo na me plastic sa loob. pagdasal mo nalang na                    mai-shoot mo s plastic.. qndi..
3. tatakbo ka papuntang base ng group nio.
4. padamihan ng mahuling froggies..

relay baga. ampf. kung anu-anong kalokohan at weird stuffs ang nagagawa qo dhil sa mga subjects qo.
sa tuesday naman, kailangan namen magdala ng madameng earthworms.. ampf! Fear Factor? di namen alam nu
dadalhin ng ibang group, zmen lan ung earthworms.

this week, wala na ding ka-emohan na nangyare. i’m trying na kalimutan na nga ung taong pinoproblema qo.
mejo effective naman xa sa ngaun. hehe. sa ngaun.

effective din ung happee pill na nadiscover qo: Kiko Machine! asteeg talaga.
mamats kay rein :)) rak en roll \m/

july 24, 2009 9:19pm

currently listening to letoya lucket-Not Anymore:
‘..cause i’ve dried my eyes and i realized,,i deserved somebody that’ll treat me right somebody say, i don’t want it anymore, because i know my worth so you can keep that drama, i dont want it anymore..’

well, i really need to get away.
#1. get away from him.
‘&& he doesn’t even realize the little
things he does that break my heart..’
#2. get away from all the drama.

after a night of revelation (*which was last night*), i don’t know how i SHOULD feel. emphasis on should. gawd. things are getting waay too complicated. i think things being complicated are a sort of ‘trademark’ in my life.

saw this cute lil quotie on the net:
‘i think the hardest part about this
situation is neither of us know what’s
going on. neither of us knows what
the other is thinking & we’re both
trying to make decisions based
on the information we don’t know.’

but the only difference with ‘us’, is that i THINK now, we BOTH know.
and that’s bothering me (*to the highest level*). and in addition to that..
another ‘party’ came up-making it really worse.

gee. iunno wut to do. don’t wanna bring on the hurt.

july25,2009 7:12pm

currently listening to Super Junior-Gee
♥i xoo lubb lee donghae!! ♥

still bothered. hmmmm.. it’s been a week na,and i’m still soo not over the hurtful
things that had happened. why does he have an effect like this on me?? i really don’t want the drama anymore.
qng pede qo lang ipamigay noh?

have you ever had that one point in your life, where you were just sitting there minding your
own business and then suddenly a song came up on the radio? and you feel so sad you wanted to cry out?
because at that very moment all you wanted to do is tell HIM how you feel and hope he understands.

that’s how i feel. i sink in deeper to the lyrics of the songs with a sigh.
it’s like the song is spilling out my secrets. tipong sapul na sapul.

my anxious thoughts. they’re making me crazier each day.

july 26,2009 8:43 pm

currently listening to-Hey Monday: 6 Months
‘ so please.. give me a hint, give me a lesson on
how to steal a heart, as fast as you stole mine..’

sheesh. what’s happening to me?! feels like i don’t even know myself.
think i’d fail on the quiz ‘How Well do you know yourself?’

i’m on a war of heart vs. heart vs. head. sheesh. soo torn.
torn between *ugh*. can’t admit.

a depressing moment.

just came home from a killer exam- chemistry15 first lab departmental exam.
think i need to have a bloodtest. baka naubusan naqo ng dugo! jowk. xD

then, he came along. with that ‘unexplainable’ look on his face.
by unexplainable, i mean i was confused. ’twas like ‘naiinis (*na i was there*)-galit-wapakels-look’.
and it really made my whole *fragile* world crumble down. i was downcast!

so this is where another set of realizations start:

‘cuz, you know it’s really hard not to care or either to forget that person who is soo special to you.
even though you’re invisible to him.(*literally*)

wish he could say it straight to my face: ‘Just go away.’

para matauhan naman aqo. wish i could FINALLY give up.

p.s. to HIM: maawa ka naman. di mo ba alam merong nasasaktan? :’c

P.S. today’s wish:

i hope, [S.O.M.E.D.A.Y], you (*HIM*) will find all
my quotes, all my words && read them all. i wish you’ll know that they’re all about you && when you read them- i wish a single tear falls down your face.

*sigh* surely, it doesn’t mean that when you have gotten over something, there will be no days that it will come rushing back.

it’s one of those darn days:

*sheesh* my mom really knows a lot. (*xan pa ba aqo magmamana..haha.*)
the news was a real shock. ’twas like a slap to the face.
question#1: does love [still] exist?

*sheesh* to know that jerk, haha. at least i knew, i chose the right decision:

i’m happy for him though. somebody took the risk
of coping up with his IMMATURITY. best wishes for you guys.xD

july 14,2009 10:32 pm

gee.. i’m stayin’ up real late this sem. signs of ‘leveling up’. xD
i was browsing through my previous files and i realized i haven’t blogged
for a week! *gawd* (either i’m way too busy or just plain sleepy. teehee.)
so i’m pushing myself soo hard (at this very point in time), too blog.

i really have soo many things to do actually, but i have no energy to do it na.
maybe, tom na lang. hahaha.

i got a calculus exercise tomorrow and i haven’t reviewed yet. my project
for ansci isn’t finished also (well, isa nalang..) and i got a killer quiz and drill
for chem. *grr* hate chem. and to think, chem lab exam is only a few days away!
huhuhu.. iyak nalang aqo.

speaking of chem.. we studied IMFA kanina or intermolecular forces of attraction.
the very familiar rule: like poles repel, opposite poles attract. so goes my
*hidden* love story. when north pole meets another north pole=repel, therefore
there is no happy ending. happy ending doesn’t exist (limits ba ito?) haha.
well, i am hoping and wishing that i’ll just pop into your head and
you’ll say ‘crap, i made a huge mistake..’ bu i know it’s not gonna happen.
xbe nga ng mga uber supportive qong ate at kuia ‘ASA KA PAng pansinin ka’.
i realized (again, for the nth time..) i have to move on. *charr!* kalimutan ‘xa’.
ba’t qo pa ipipilit an sarili qo sa taong lumalayo sa’kin dbuh? it would be really pathetic.
if he’s dumb enough to walk away, i might as well.. let him..go.

nababadtrip lan aqo lagueh and nadedepress. lalo na pag nakikita qo xa.
God, why does he have to be so…. uhm, cute? haha..
saw him nung pauwi kame..

auqo na. dapat itgil qo na ang kahibangan na ito. nytz.
[kind sleep.free me briefly from myself]

july 1,2009 (8:15pm)

*gawd* time really flies uber fast. it’s already july! && i was still thinking my usual ‘hellweek’
started yesterday-tuesday and will be ending the day after tomorrow! gosh! there are lots of work to
be done. fufu x_x

this week is a sure hellweek-well, officially the start of our usual ‘haggardness TTh days’ because
our PE officially started yesterday! and then we’ll be playing ‘Agawan Buko’ tomorrow in PE uniform.
That would be shorts and shirt but then we’ll have to wear proper attire also in Chemistry lab class.
that would be changing clothes and freshening up in 30 minutes! *gawd*

need energy. need– inspiration? haha. well, found one for our uber boring chem lecture class.
i got a cutie classmate who resembles Kris Allen! soo cutie.. haha.

enweisz, gotta sleep. though it’s still early. i miss my tulog sessions. ciao.

july 3,2009 (3:00pm)

whee! thank God it’s friday!! i’m super free.. but, my whole body aches. the game
yesterday was really fun but, dang! too ‘brutal’ as well. haha.

i’ll be sorta busy next week. i got long chemistry quiz on tuesday and i have to meorize all those
elements and symbols, cations and anions.. blah blah blah.. chem sucks! totally.

i also have another set of accounting exercises comin’ up. i’m really going crazee over
the increase-decrease in assets and liabilities, debit-credit et cetera.

think i’m holding on to the last thread of my sanity. *ugh* gotta sleep before
changing to acad mode. teehee.

june 28,2009 (12:05am)

planet eart to abigail! hello?!

wake up gail! (*isn’t it ironic? it’s early morning.haha.*)
wake up! open your eyes!

wake up gail ‘kundi bubuhusan kita ng mainit na tubig’! (*that’s my brain speaking..*)
you don’t deserve him.i’ll give you a lot of reasons not to think about him:
1. He’s no match for you. He is so waaay out of your league.
2. He doesn’t even ‘look good’. (*gawd* anung nakain mo?*)
3. He is so uber snob. (*kala mo qng sino*)
4. He walks away when you’re around. (*awch!*)
5. He doesn’t know you exist! (*korak!*)
6. He acts as if you’re invisible. (*anu un? ym lang?*)
7. He is uber suplado to you.
8. He is soo insensitive. way too insensitive.
9. He is uber feelingero too. (*ugh*)
10. You don’t even know him personally!

like duh! kahit pa umabot ng ilang milyong reasons ang maibigay mo, wala ka ng magagawa.
mahirap na xa’ng tanggalin!  (*it’s me. unfortunately.*)

waah! baliw na tlaga aq. need sleep. ciao. -.-

june 21, 2009

‘you can’t please everybody.’

at least that’s what i tell myself-everytime i did something stupid.
of course, it’s already too late before i realized what i DID  or said was stupid.
i’m just being me ayt? wish i was somebody else. why can’t i be somebody else?

i just wanna fade away. be invisible. *ugh* something just happened.
i fell so ‘down’. i think nasira q pa ang mood ng bday celeb ni ate judith.
it’s my bad anyway. cuz ‘gingging’ always act foolishly, childishly and way too stupid.

*gawd* i’m always thinking of what others would think of me.
being in a different world together with different people with different personalities is just too
much to handle.

aside from missing and comparing my new peers with my old ones, the intense paranoia is also
due to fact that there is an endless firing of my neurons. i always think- makes me crazy.
stupid and crazy.

i just want to forget anything stupid that has ever happened that my messes up my half-messed life.
sometimes, memory is just not a privilege.

june 24. 2009

*gosh* time really flies by fast. it’s already wednesday
and i had not posted anything for the past two days. haha. blogging got me hooked.

enweisz, i was really downcast last monday. i wasn’t in the mood for anything. faei and i had
sundaes-pampawala depress. ‘la epek. i dunno why.

last tuesday sure was a ‘hell day’. i was uber antok the whole day! guess, all the time i was sleeping.
i had microsleeps all throughout the duration of my classes. except, walking to switch classes.
speaking of switching classes. gracie had a good laugh when she saw the monster-from-under-my-bed.
sama eh. haha.

what else?? i accompanied gracie this morning sa rob for her usual shopping spree
whenever she sees something she wants. then went back again to accompany kuia popz.
gala mode aq weh. haha. when we were pauwi na, kasabai namin c ‘chug2′. but we
weren’t aware that nasa likod namin xa. and i was like paranoid again? haha.

june 25, 2009 9:43 pm

wheew! what a relief. i survived another TTh sched! wahahaha..xD
sure was a ‘hellday’ again for the same old reasons:

1. boring discussions,shocking questions
2. chem lab *haggardness. finished an entire exercise!*
3. hectic sched.. and
4. the possibility of seeing that someone

thank God it’s friday tom! tutulog naq ng bonggang bongga

june 19,2009 (10:30 pm)

found time to blog. haha. good thing Rizal was born in Laguna, we’re having a holiday!
just slept throughout the day. haha. i wasn’t  feeling well kanina. i was scared ‘cuz being sick
would mean low resistance and higher risk for having h1n1.

enweisz, yesterday sure was a ‘hellday’ for moii.
i just hate tuesdays & thursdays! *arrgh* except for the fact that i have full sched
on that day, there’s a probability of seeing the ‘monster-from-under-my-bed’.
talk about paranoia. haha.

i confess: i saw HIM (*actually*). i realized, he’s JUST a guy- not even a ’special’ guy
for that one. he was just a ‘bump on the road’. he did’nt really matter, what happened
was just a big mistake.

well, chemistry15 lab class makes it a real tough day. i officially declare that i hate chem!
good thing we didn’t have a class on chemistry lecture. pc had a short circuit. i was able to
make it on time for the freshie concert.

got home at past ten and i fell asleep as soon as i hit my bed. woke up at 12 kanina.
did nothing actually, just slept
nothing special for this day though. ciao.